Yu-Gi-Oh! Forbidden Memories
While attempting a speedrun can be a fun challenge (who doesn’t love the AGDQ marathons), sometimes there’s just no point. There are some games which don’t really allow you those opportunities, or have an exploit that just makes the whole thing too simple. The first game on this list Yu-Gi-Oh! Forbidden Memories, is one of those games you want to avoid for speedrunning.
A card-based game for the PlayStation, Yu-Gi-Oh! Forbidden Memories relies on incredible luck to complete the game, as the cards you get are random, and you can’t progress past some points without the right combinations of cards. There is also no known exploit to get around this making speedrunning this game effectively impossible.
Clue
Yeah, this one’s actually been done, but the complete lack of challenge and guesswork involved takes all the fun out of what a speedrun is. You basically start the game and guess who, where, and what, and if you got it right, you win! But where’s the fun and challenge in that?
Harvest Moon
Another one that’s been attempted. You can technically speedrun Harvest Moon in under three minutes by talking to a few people, and then sleeping for three years. However, to do so requires skipping everything that makes Harvest Moon an actual game, and thus, makes it a perfect candidate for this list.
Cookie Clicker
If you haven’t heard of Cookie Clicker, it’s exactly what it sounds like. You click a giant cookie to make more cookies, collect upgrades to make even more cookies, ad infinitum. There’s literally no end. Some people have probably been playing for years. Strangely addicting? Yes. Good for a speedrun? No.
Literally any Telltale Game
Telltale Games is a company that tells great, award-winning stories, but is not really known for their gameplay. The games play out as a series of dialogue choices, with some occasional QTEs and point-and-click adventuring. While you might be able to try and select certain choices quickly, most of these games don’t lend themselves well for an exciting speedrun challenge.
Phoenix Wright Series
Similar to the Telltale adventure games, the Phoenix Wright games are largely dialogue-heavy, and are often called visual novels. Most of the gameplay consists of selecting the “next” button to read more dialogue. Hardly what a speedrunner is going for.
Color a Dinosaur
Color a Dinosaur is a game for the NES, which states on the cover that it’s for ages 3 – 6, where the objective is to – wait for it – color a dinosaur. This has been attempted purely for fun, and while “this kind of fun won’t go extinct”, I’m sure you can imagine how bad it would be to speedrun and even worse, watch.
L.A. Noire
Yes, speedruns of this game exist, but this is another case of a predominately dialogue-driven game. When most of your gameplay is selecting the right dialogue option and moving onto the next crime, the actual speedrun challenge is diminished greatly.
Guitar Hero
This also applies to any rhythm game (Rock Band, Dance Dance Revolution, Amplitude), these games require a certain level of accuracy during the length of a song. You simply can’t play these games faster than they’re meant to be played, making any attempt at a speedrun about hitting enough right notes to move on, and not speed at all.
Gone Home
So yes, in the recently-released console version, there are actual trophies for speedrunning these games. However, if you’ve beat the game and know exactly where to go, this can take under a minute. The lack of challenge here really defeats the purpose of the whole speedrunning culture.
Which games would make your list? Anything above you disagree with? And what’s your favorite game to speedrun? Let us know in the comments below!
Check Out More
- Halo 5 Team Cheats Live in Championship Series
- Suicide Squad Gets Some Stylish Character Posters
- Lowglow Review
This post was originally written by Anthony Galleran.
About the author
