Sir Galahad (The Order: 1886)
Sir Galahad is one of the main protagonists in Ready At Dawn’s upcoming The Order: 1886. One of the PlayStation 4’s exclusive games to release in 2015, The Order: 1886 places you in the shoes of a Knight of The Order as you battle the supernatural forces that threaten humanity. Rife with alternate history, intriguing weapons, and a deep plot, it aims to bring some truly great things to the third person shooter genre. One of the great things it brings along happens to be some of the best facial hair ever seen in video games.
With his large sideburns, small goatee, and thick well maintained mustache, Sir Galahad has one of the best arrangements of facial hair in games. It commands respect, adds some character, and must really intimidate all those lycanthropic enemies he will come across when the game releases later this week. It is a thing of beauty that sets a whole new standard for mustaches everywhere. But, Sir Galahad isn’t the first mustachioed character to leave his mark on the video game world. There have been many who came before, and their facial hair was indeed marvelous.
Mario & Luigi
Mario and Luigi of Super Mario Bros. fame might just be the most famous brothers in video games. These two have been through it all over the years whether it was setting a precedent for platforming perfection, karting with some friends, or appearing in some great handheld RPGs. But, they’ve brought something even more special to video games, something that they may just owe to their parents. No it’s not their jumping ability, nor is it their need to help everyone in need. It’s not even their talent at organizing some of the greatest sporting events and inviting their worst enemies.
We’re talking about their mustaches. Those well coifed tufts of hair under each of their noses add a level of class no overalls could ever hope to. Mario’s smile wouldn’t be as magical if it wasn’t for that thick curly mustache that sits above his upper lip. Luigi’s infamous death stare just wouldn’t have that same oomph if it wasn’t for the facial hair that made him look so menacing. No matter how you look at it, these mustaches are great and help to make two of the greatest characters in video games all the more recognizable.
Sir Hammerlock
Ah Borderlands, your unmatched wit, addictive gameplay, and over-the-top characters have caused many smiles over the past few years. The Borderlands games took the genre of first person shooters and managed to make it into something more, something that many games are still struggling to do. But, how did the team over at Gearbox make it happen? Some would argue (very few in fact) that it has to do with something called class.
Take a look at Sir Hammerlock with his shiny, finely combed mutton chops. He dresses with a sense of style and purpose as he looks at you through his round glasses. His mechanical limbs blend seamlessly with the rest of him as he speaks with a level of intelligence and distinction that is all to rare in the Borderlands games. But, no matter how much you try to examine him as a whole your eyes can’t help but to gravitate towards that glorious mustache.
Sir Hammerlock along with his proud mustache embody the essence of a true gentlemanly scholar.It sits prominently below his nose and from it is borne the rest of the character many have come to know and love. You can’t help but want to do his bidding no matter how dangerous it may be. It could very well be the fact that he tends to hold a rather large gun that makes you susceptible to his requests, but we’ll hedge our bets and say it’s definitely the mustache.
Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik
Whether you know him as the portly fellow from the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog television series, or the much taller enemy with the impossibly thin legs from the Sonic Adventure video games you’ll definitely recognize one particular thing about Dr. Robotnik. Below his red nose, just above that wide, creepy grin lies an insane shock of hair that serves as one of the best mustaches in gaming.
Dr. Robotnik (or Dr. Eggman if you prefer) is the main antagonist in most Sonic the Hedgehog games. He is known for being an evil genius hell bent on turning innocent animals into robotic minions. But, there is so much more to this man than maniacal aspirations. Just take a look at Dr. Robotnik and you will see that he, like everyone else on this list, is a man dedicated to his appearance just as much as he is to world domination. From the form shaping black, to the red, white and yellow jacket all the way up to his extremely impressive mustache.
Being the unique man that he is, Dr. Robotnik couldn’t settle for an established mustache type like characters in other games. No, a horseshoe mustache didn’t have the distinction he wanted, and a pencil mustache might have looked horrible on his oddly shaped face. What you instead have here seems to be a handlebar mustache that neither nature nor product could tame. Robotnik’s ‘stache is one that haunts the nightmare of Sonic and friends, and earns him a spot on this exclusive list.
Master Onion
If you ask anyone if they remember Parappa the Rapper chances are that the first thing out of their mouth will be “Kick! Punch! It’s all in the mind”. Master Onion’s rythmic lesson at his dojo shows you that this man is a master at what he does. And those masteries include karate, and maintaining the best Fu Manchu mustache to ever bless any of the PlayStation games ever to be released.
It must be hard to find passion in anything when your head is a huge smelly onion. But, Master Onion proved that even a walking, talking onion could add a bit of passion and class to everything by keeping his mustache clean and pristine. This mustache was so amazing that easily made this character one of the most memorable characters from the PlayStation One era.
It’s no surprise that Parappa sought out some wisdom from this fine gentleman. After all if you had the choice between a regular person or an onion headed individual with a superb mustache, who would you choose?
Andrew Ryan
Andrew Ryan is one of the most memorable antagonists in all of gaming. Using one of the best plot twists in the realm of video games he exhibits complete dominance over your character as he teaches you the most valuable lesson you’ll ever learn; “A man chooses, a slave obeys”. One thing Andrew Ryan forgets to mentions is that a man also keeps a well maintained pencil mustache before he chooses anything. After all, having poor facial hair is a direct reflection on your greatness (this may or may not be true).
Andrew Ryan is the epitome of a visionary. Having built his own private utopia under the sea where great minds can live freely without the watchful eyes of society and morality. Sure things fell apart after a while, but it was in such a grandiose manner that even that can be considered a testament to how great the man truly was. And he couldn’t have done any of it without his trusty mustache which never left his side.
Okay, well maybe the mustache had absolutely nothing to do with his genius mind, his steadfast stance, and his amazing posture. But, you must admit that it added to the distinguished look the folks over at Irrational were going for. Andrew Ryan may have had some insane aspirations but he looked damn good all the way up to his gruesome death.
Are there any top-notch mustaches in video games that you feel got the short end of the mustache comb? If so, feel free to share in the comments below.
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