Getting a Job
In some ways, getting a job in The Sims is actually very similar to how it’s done in the real world – you can check the newspaper, you can look online, and now you can even check your cell phone. But really, it’s not quite as easy as they make it look. In The Sims, you can browse a huge variety of jobs, simply click on the one that takes your fancy and voila, it’s yours. In reality? It’s often a case of spending rigorous amounts of time re-writing your CV, filling in application forms, a couple of gruelling interviews and then maybe – just maybe – that sales assistant job could be yours.
Being Promoted
Whilst we’re on that subject, it’s equally not quite as easy to become promoted in real life. Whilst standing in the mirror and talking to yourself for a good few hours could boost your charisma in reality (as well as your insanity), it probably won’t secure you overnight success as the next Broadway lead.
Making Friends
Firstly, if we could all see a little bar above our potential pals’ heads that indicated if they liked what we were doing or not when attempting to make new acquaintances, it would already be much easier. But the fact that an exact sequence of behaviours will secure you a new friendship in less than 3 minutes is even more unrealistic. Yes, we’re talking about the good ol’ compliment, chat, compliment, chat, friendly hug, chat, chat – the Konami Code of friendship.
Finding a Partner
Possibly even less realistic is finding that one true love. Take the recipe above for making a friend and throw in a few extra moves such as compliments, flirt, compliment appearance, another chat for good measure, and when that kiss button pops up, take the plunge. After that, you’re pretty much ready to woohoo.
Losing Weight
If only it was this easy to improve our physical wellbeing in real life. In The Sims, if you spent a bit too much time eating those breakfast waffles or hot dogs, it was really quite easy to go back down to your normal, reduced pixel size. If you had a running machine or a workout bench, a few goes on this would drop the excess weight in a matter of minutes. In the newer games, you didn’t even need to buy a machine – you could just go for a run. Now, whilst all of this is the same procedure to lose weight in real life, the speed and simplicity of it is far from realistic.
Making Money
Okay, okay. So this is isn’t directly how you’re supposed to play The Sims. But who hasn’t used a sneaky ‘rosebud’ or ‘motherlode’ to get the odd additional $50,000? In the game, if you’re not making enough doing your cleaner or cashier job, or you’d rather spend your time living a life of luxury and not working at all, a quick button combination and you get the blue box of bliss, letting you choose from a variety of fabulous cheats. Sadly, nothing exists (yet) that allows us to do this in reality and any way of waking up to an extra $50,000 is usually very, very illegal.
Having a Baby
Whilst in reality all the soon-to-be-moms in the world are struggling through nine months of aches, pains, cravings and mood swings, the moms of The Sims have to endure around three days of what seems like normal life (apart from the occasional run to the bathroom to throw up) and then without a fuss, the baby appears. Similarly, if you want to adopt in the sims, don’t bother with extensive applications and interviews, oh no. All you need to do is get on the phone and dial-a-baby.
Bringing Up a Child
Once you’ve had said Sim baby, it is remarkably easy to raise them. Don’t worry if you forgot to potty train them or teach them to speak – by the time they’re a child they will just know these things. Don’t panic about getting your child to school on time or making them do their homework – they will still become an adult and then all you need to do is follow the above steps on making friends and read the paper to get a job.
Selling Your Possessions
Now in reality, we have things like eBay, Craigslist, Amazon… in the world of The Sims, magical things happen. Should you choose to sell the TV you recently bought or bring in a replacement bed, you don’t have to worry about things like putting on a reserve price or paying for a sponsored listing and then inviting strange people to your house to check the item, only to not buy it. One click of that button and your item is sold, often for a much higher amount than people would realistically bid.
Cooking
If you really, closely watch your Sim, you’ll be amazed at how they cook. It’s simply wonderful. To make a salad, they do things like chop what appears to be a watermelon for what feels like a very long time, only to pour water all over it and then empty it into a bowl. It’s also quite interesting that by sim logic, preparing several mac’n’cheese’s seems to deem you experienced enough to make a killer spaghetti bolognese.
Were there any times Sims logic let you down in real life? Share your disappointments in the comments below!
This post was originally written by Claire Pulpher.
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