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It’s Astounding How Much of a Jerk You Are in These 6 Games

How could you sleep at night?

Grand Theft Auto V

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Grand Theft Auto V

Yeah, there’s that whole Trevor torturing and water boarding scene in Grand Theft Auto V. That’s pretty bad, there’s no denying that. But even with that aside, the protagonists are real jerks. “That’s the point,” one would say, but these guys are jerks without even being likable. They’re just mean-spirited people who don’t get why the universe is making their lives hell. First, there’s Michael, who crashes through a car dealership and brings a guy’s house down. Trevor bashes a guy’s head in just because the dude had the nerve to yell at him for sleeping with his girlfriend. And Franklin? Well, he’s got that atrocious green motorcycle and that’s bad in about eight different ways.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II

starkiller

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… you were an enormous jerk.

The ending for the Force Unleashed II can be done two ways. Starkiller can spare Darth Vader and flee with his love Juno, which is the canon ending. The evil ending has him trying to off Vader and getting killed by a Starkiller clone. The Battle for Endor DLC has Evil Starkiller traveling to the Ewok planet and unleashing hell on the furry monsters. If you think that’s bad, Han Solo, Leia, and Chewbacca show up for you to fight. Let’s just say… it doesn’t end well for them.

Crackdown

sandbox crackdown open world

In Crackdown, you play an Agent of the Agency. Pacific City is controlled by three gangs: the Volk, the Los Muertos, and the Shai-Gen. Your objective is to get strong enough to wipe out the various lieutenants and crime lords plaguing the city. Oh, ethnic cleansing, well done, soldier. But the evil things don’t stop there.

Spoilers!

Once you’ve eliminated the final crime lord, a cutscene reveals there’s more to this story than meets the eye. The Agency has been secretly empowering the three gangs so the Agency’s control over Pacific City would be needed. Pacific City is only the beginning for the Agency, as they have plans to replicate this across the planet and create a New World Order. Well done, you jerk.

Infamous Second Son

inFamous: Second Son, inFamous, PS4, Sucker Punch

Spoilers ahead!

Being evil in an Infamous game generally doesn’t end well to begin with, but this… well, this is just a new level of evil. After mourning the death of your brother Reggie and killing that traitor Hank Daughtry, Delsin heads to the DUP Tower to put an end to this once and for all. Joined by Fetch and Eugene, he gets to the top of the Tower and smashes his way in. Augustine is waiting for him and the two face off. Delsin absorbs her concrete power and puts her in a concrete prison of her own. So far, it’s been standard, but here’s where things take a dark turn.

Delsin drags Augustine’s body to the top of the Tower and throws her down to the street. Yikes. With her gone, Seattle is open to be conquered by the Conduit trio. He’s already made plans to go to Curdun Cay Station and free the other Conduits locked there and absorb their powers. But before he does that, he heads back to Salmon Bay to cure the people Augustine put concrete daggers in. The Akomish reject him, cast him out of their tribe, and tell him that his late brother would be ashamed. Delsin, of course, doesn’t take that the best way, ascending to the air and performing an Orbital Drop on the people.

Yeah, that’s pretty dark.

Darksiders

Darksiders_boxshot

The Four Horsemen in Darksiders are War, Death, Fury, and Strife. Their ultimate destiny is to start the Apocalypse once the Seven Seals are broken, paving the way for the conflict between the Creator and his Angels and the Destroyer and his legion of Demons. At the start of Darksiders, angels and demons crash to modern day Earth, War arriving by himself shortly thereafter. No other Horseman, no Creator, no Destroyer, just a bunch of demons and angels having one gigantic punch-up. Over the course of the prologue, the Red Rider’s powers are slowly stripped away and he learns that the Seventh Seal meant to summon the Horsemen hasn’t been broken. So… War kinda sorta accidentally kickstarted the Endwar and wiped out all of humanity. Oops. Way to go, you jerk.

Fallout 3

fallout

Who can forget the first time you leave your home in Fallout 3 and make a beeline for Megaton? With an undetonated nuke in the center of the city and plenty of friendly faces, you might think that it’s a nice place to rest for a few days, maybe start your new life. You would be, except that once you meet Sheriff Lucas Simms, he wants you to disarm the nuke. A well-dressed man named Mr. Burke asks you to detonate it for his employer, Mr. Tenpenny. Taking the latter option requires you to put a fusion pulse charge inside the bomb. You report to Mr. Tenpenny at Tenpenny Tower, and then you personally detonate it. Man, you are a jerk. And to make matters worse, one of the Megaton quest givers, Moira, will be hanging around the remains as a ghoul. Your dad’s real proud of you, bud.

About the author

Justin Carter

Sometimes a writer, always a dork. When he isn't staring in front of a screen for hours, he's probably reading comics or eating Hot Pockets. So many of them.

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