Star Wars
Telltale is clearly willing to tackle just about any property, so why not a property far, far away? Star Wars is getting back into a resurgence, what with that trailer and all. So it only makes sense for them to do George Lucas’ epic space adventure in time for The Force Awakens. The only question would be: who would you play as? Our suggestion? A Clone Trooper who is incredibly indecisive. Talk to characters from the Clone Wars cartoon like Ahsoka and Anakin, and make decisions that’ll lead to you either murdering the Jedi in Order 66 or being one of the Clone Troopers who dies while trying to murder the Jedi in Order 66. If you pick the latter, just remember to succeed in the murdering, because Jedi will remember you if you fail. And they’ll come for your ass.
Spider-Man
Of all the Marvel superheroes, Spidey’s adventures would translate well to the Telltale formula. The wallcrawler has already been cel-shaded in the Ultimate Spider-Man game from 2003, and his civilian life is easy to integrate into their dialogue choices and point and click gameplay. Walk around the Daily Bugle, piss off J. Jonah Jameson, then do some quick time superheroing and take pictures…before getting yelled at by Jameson and getting $50 for your pictures that’ll be used to insult you.
Final Fantasy
Square Enix has about 20 other Final Fantasy games in development, so would one by Telltale really be a big deal? Instead of going on a road trip and fighting monsters, fight the urge to roll your eyes at a plot that branches off depending on your decisions and ends up being somehow more convoluted. Play as a skinny, spiky haired loser who walks around their city looking for ways to stop an evil god-thing or whatever and then meet many characters who you’ll want to give a tire iron to the teeth. And then, once you’re done playing Final Fantasy XIII, play the Final Fantasy Telltale game.
Dragon Age
This one is a no brainer. If there’s one thing that Bioware and Telltale games have in common it’s that they have so. Much. Fucking. Talking. And there’s dialogue choices in both games anyway, so just focus on one of the side characters in Inquisition, like Scoutmaster Harding, and show us what they were doing while the Inquisitor is off saving the world because your adventures don’t matter.
Grand Theft Auto
Telltale’s dialogue choices and GTA go about as well together as a Venus flytrap and a child who keeps sticking their hand in and out of its mouth–but it could work. The world is full of characters who all murder at least three people before noon, so focus on a group of those weirdos and their attempts to have it all in the lush and beautiful Los Santos whose lives start to crumble as their desire for money gets more and more greedy. There needs to be a mission where you run your Hummer through someone’s house. It was great in GTA V, it’ll be great in this.
Breaking Bad
Let’s be honest here, you would buy this. It could have none of the original actors, and you would buy it. Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston could do a PSA saying that the game has no right to exist, and at least ten of you would buy the shit out of it. The moment Telltale announced a dedicated “Hell yeah” button, you’ll scoop it up.
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