There are many reasons to love Dragon Age. Perhaps one of the biggest lies in the small details buried in the game. BioWare is well known for its excellent character development. This is in large part aided by the party banter that you chance upon in your adventures. In celebration of Dragon Age: Inquisition‘s impending release this week, here are 10 of the best banter moments from the first two Dragon Age games.
Leliana tries to chip away at Shale’s stony exterior.
Shale: Why does the bard stare at me so?
Leliana: I was thinking about writing a song about you. “The Statue with the Heart of Gold”… or something like that.
Shale: It thinks my heart is made of gold? It is stone, as anything else. Cold stone.
Leliana: I meant that you had… a good heart. It seems to be that you do.
Shale: And they call this having a “heart of gold?” Why?
Leliana: Uh… because gold is precious and shiny and… a good heart is just as valuable?
Shale: Shiny.
Leliana: In a manner of speaking.
Shale: My heart does not qualify as shiny. I kill. Frequently, and not without pleasure.
Leliana: You had a difficult life. Deep down, at the center of your being, you are a good person. I believe that.
Shale: Even though I have never demonstrated this aspect? How peculiar.
Leliana: You aren’t all stone, Shale. There is a person inside of you.
Shale: If so, it is because I ate it.
Dragon Age: Awakening was a happier, simpler time for Anders.
Sigrun: Could you set that bush on fire?
Anders: Probably, but why would I want to?
Sigrun: Could you freeze it?
Anders: Why do you want me to kill the bush?
Sigrun: Because it’s there! It’s an evil bush! Do it!
Anders: Magic isn’t for your amusement! Why don’t I just do a little dance? Anders’ Spicy Shimmy? Doodoodoodoodoodoodoo
Sigrun: Oh, eww. I’ll pass.
The Warden discovers Sten has a bit of a sweet tooth.
Sten: There is… interesting food here. You have a thing… it does not have a word in the Qunari language. Little baked things, like bread, but sweet, and crumbly.
Warden: Cookies?
Sten: Yes! We have no such things in our lands. This should be remedied.
Warden: I’ll keep that in mind.
Wynne has the sweet, grandmotherly thing going for her, but she can troll with the best of them.
Wynne: Alistair, may I have a word?
Alistair: Of course, anything for my favoritest mage ever.
Wynne: It seems you and our fearless leader are inseparable these days. Joined at the hip, almost.
Alistair: That’s a bit of an overstatement, don’t you think?
Wynne: Well then, now that you’re in an intimate relationship, you should learn about where babies really come from.
Alistair: Pardon?
Wynne: I know the Chantry says you dream about your babies and the good Fade spirits take them out of the Fade and leave them in your arms…but that’s not true. Actually what happens is that when a girl and a boy really love each other —
Alistair: Andraste’s flaming sword! I know where babies come from!
Wynne: Do you? Do you really?
Alistair: I certainly hope so.
Wynne: Oh, all right then. Aww, look, you’re all red and mottled. How cute.
Alistair: You did that on purpose!
Wynne: Now, now Alistair, why would I do such a thing?
Alistair: Because you’re wicked. That frail old lady act? I’m so not fooled. I’m on to you now.
And Oghren is, well . . . Oghren.
Oghren: So. With the boss, aye?
Alistair: Pardon?
Oghren: You and the boss. Rolling your oats.
Alistair: I don’t know–
Oghren: Polishing the footstones.
Alistair: –what you’re–
Oghren: Tapping the midnight still, if you will.
Alistair: What are you going on about?
Oghren: Forging the moaning statue. Bucking the forbidden horse. Donning the velvet hat.
Alistair: Are you just making these up right now?
Oghren: Nope. Been saving ’em.
Morrigan and Alistair’s hatred for one another sure is endearing.
Morrigan: So you met this sibling of yours?
Alistair: Half-sister, but yes.
Morrigan: And she turned out to be an insufferable hag?
Alistair: You’d have liked her. You two have a lot in common.
Morrigan: And you let her berate you? Without punishment?
Alistair: It’s moments like this when I truly appreciate the difference between you and me.
Morrigan: (Scoffs) ‘Tis moments like this when I truly wonder at the difference between you and a toadstool.
Merrill can be a bit naive…
Carver: So, you’re not like a lot of other girls.
Merrill: No, I’m an elf.
Carver: Right, alright then.
Merrill: Oh, did I miss something dirty?
Carver: What? No! It wasn’t dirty. It wasn’t anything.
Merrill: Oh? Right, because I miss a lot of dirty things and sometimes I wouldn’t mind hearing them.
Carver: Would you now?
… But she has fun.
Merrill: Ser Pounce-a-lot… who knighted him?
Anders: Is that a serious question?
Merrill: Did he have a little sword, or just his claws? I bet he had a dashing cap with a feather in it!
Anders: Would you stop making fun of my cat?
Merrill: Oh… no hat, then?
Hawke has her priorities straight when it comes to romance.
Anders: I love you. I’ve been holding back from saying that. You should have a normal life, not be tied down to a fugitive with no future. But I don’t ever want to leave you.
Hawke: Want a sandwich?
Anders: You will be an inspiration to generations of romantic poets.
Isabela shares a secret hobby with her BFF, Varric.
Isabela: Psst. I’ve got some of it written down now.
Varric: Give it here.
Varric: “Her breasts strained against the leather jerkin like two wild stallions corralled against their will.” (Chuckles)
Varric: “She pounced—the smooth moves of a jungle cat—and locked her thighs around Donnic’s waist. He—”
Aveline: What?
Isabela: Nothing.
Aveline: What is that?
Isabela: Shh! (Giggles)
Varric: Isabela just thought she’d celebrate your love affair with a… written dedication.
Isabela: It’s “friend-fiction!” I do it out of love.
Aveline: I will never, ever be clean again.
It’s hard to choose from the dozens of character moments scattered throughout these two games. Did I miss some of your favorites? Post them in the comments below!
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