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10 Really Inappropriate Places to Play Pokemon GO

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This probably doesn’t need to be said, but seriously dude, a place for mourning is the worst time to go playing Pokemon GO. Yes, fine, Duskull is over there, but you’re also in the middle of something kinda inmportant…

It’s already bad enough to text and drive (seriously, don’t do that), but playing a game while you’re driving is a new level of dickery. Yes, if there’s a traffic jam, that’s one thing, but also be sure to pay attention, or you’ll be the one being found in street.

It’s highly unlikely that the dudes coming to rob your house are going to want to roam around town with you for more Pokemon. And if they are, it’s possible they’ll be leading you to other people’s houses.

The war between Digimon and Pokemon has been one that’s been going on since the mid 90s, and it’ll be going on for long after. As you watch some old episodes of the Digital Monsters, maybe consider not doing that while you play with pocket monsters?

There aren’t any Pokemon in the courthouse. None of them are lawyers, no matter what Business Pikachu will tell you. What does he know, he doesn’t have a law degree. He just watches Suits and likes to play pretend.

There’s some weird meta irony in playing Pokemon GO as you’re in the middle of being divorced for doing that exact same thing. Pokeballs can catch random monsters, but it can’t catch the love you’ve lost. That’s all up to you.

How’d you even get in here? You don’t remember, all that’s running through your mind is Pokemon GO. Never mind the fact that you’ve grown a second head or a third arm, all that matters is that you got yours.

Weddings are one of the most important days of an adult’s life, and what doesn’t help is you roaming around during the ceremony trying to catch a Jinx. What’s she even doing there? Who invited HER, of all people?!

Yeah, okay, one guy managed to find a Pidgey while his wife was giving birth. That being said, that probably can’t continue to be a thing without someone getting upset, even as the doctor shows you your bundle of joy.

Kinda like a wedding or a funeral, you shouldn’t be playing Pokemon GO while someone’s life is in your hands. Yes, Blissey is cute as hell, but she’s not going to hand you that scalpel, is she? …Is she?

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About the author

Justin Carter

Sometimes a writer, always a dork. When he isn't staring in front of a screen for hours, he's probably reading comics or eating Hot Pockets. So many of them.

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