Honestly, there are certain features in games that’ll make you groan or sigh as soon as you encounter them. Hardly anybody is looking forward to hard-to-navigate underwater levels, fetch quests, or escort missions.
Escort missions are the absolute worst, and even great games suffer from them from time to time. Here are 10 that’ll make you want to stop playing, save, then quit.
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess – The Carriage
There are a few ways that this short escort mission can go very wrong, especially if you’re playing on the Wii. You’re tasked with protecting a carriage as it crosses Hyrule Field, while on horseback.
A piece of cake for the Hero of Twilight, right? Wrong. This can be a terrible escort mission, depending on your luck. The carriage is in danger of being hit with flaming arrows from all sides, or bombs from above.
If a bomb drops near the carriage it’ll stop following the path to its destination. Instead of continuing straight, it’ll go around in circles.
Defending the carriage shouldn’t be too hard, but being attacked on all sides while trying to simultaneously control your horse, and aim at both flying and grounded enemies with the Wiimote can make this escort mission maddening.
Jak II – The Kid
Naughty Dog is best known these days for their more recent IPs, but once upon a time, they gave us the brilliant Jak and Daxter. Jak II is notorious for being much harder than its predecessor. This escort mission is one of the reasons why.
To complete it, you’ll need to guide a child from one location to another as you fend off attacking enemies that are trying to take him away. The kid is even invincible, so he can’t die. But you can.
This escort mission will have enemies swarm you nonstop as the kid moves at a snail’s pace, which is just about as aggravating as it sounds. Be ready for a few game over screens.
Ico – Yorda
This will probably be a controversial one since Ico is considered a classic by many. The game has players go on a journey of sorts while taking care of a girl named Yorda. Running around with Yorda isn’t annoying in and of itself, but pretty much the entirety of Ico is an escort mission. It gets old.
Yorda listens to commands and can be led around by holding her hand, but as the game goes on, it all begins to feel more and more like a chore than anything else.
Babysitting Yorda is just not a great experience for the whole seven or so hours it takes to beat Ico.
Traveling with Yorda can get so tedious, and it doesn’t help that she hardly contributes anything of note gameplay-wise.
Fable – Traders
Fable is a game of many quests. Some will fascinate and engage you, while others test the limits of your patience. The Trader Escort quest does the latter, of course.
This escort mission has you guiding traders through a few not-so-safe locations, including a dangerous Darkwood that contains Balverines (werewolves, basically).
The traders have horrible pathing, and can never seem to stay near you. By the time you’ve realized that they’re lagging behind, they’re probably already near-death or actually dead.
All I have to say is, thank goodness that this quest is an optional one. It’s very easy to skip it and never look back.
BioShock – Little Sister
Save or harvest? That’s always the question when it comes to Little Sisters throughout BioShock’s campaign. Although, late in the game, you’ll be forced to accept a third option: protect.
Without giving away too many plot details, you’ll be tasked with protecting a Little Sister as she goes about her Little Sister business. Unfortunately, her business involves become an easy-to-hit stationary target as hordes of insane Splicers converge on your location.
It’s not easy keeping the Little Sister alive, and you’ll likely fail one or two times before completing this escort mission.
Resident Evil 4 – Ashley
I’m sure most people saw this one coming from a mile away. First of all, it should be said that Ashley isn’t really the worst escort mission character on this list. However, she’s still no fun at all to escort, so here she is.
The Resident Evil 4 escort missions are bad ones mostly thanks to the fact that they severely overstay their welcome. Sure, Ashley follows commands well enough, but over time, you’ll be wondering why in the world these Ashley sequences take up so much of the game.
While you’re wondering that, you better not mess up, or she’ll be calling your name over and over again until you’ve had enough. Especially in the water room and El Gigante fight.
Let’s just say that escorting Ashley isn’t really the most enjoyable thing to do in RE 4.
Spyro 2 – The Alchemist
Frustrating AI can turn almost any good gaming experience into an unforgettable one for all the wrong reasons. This is the case with the Alchemist escort mission in Spyro 2.
All you need to do is keep creatures known as Earthshapers away from an Alchemist so that he can deliver a potion. The problem is that he will walk near every single Earthshaper on the way to his goal.
This infuriating Alchemist has a clear path for his potion delivery, but instead, he goes out of his way to endanger himself constantly. If he gets touched, you’ll need to start the escort mission from the very beginning. It’s the worst.
Dead Rising – Survivors
Speaking of frustrating AI, Dead Rising might have every other game on this list beat in that department. Escort missions are already some of the worst missions in gaming, but Dead Rising takes that to another level.
The game will have you protecting survivors in a zombie apocalypse, except you’ll find that you’ll basically be struggling against the undead as well as the survivors because of their AI.
Just like the Alchemist above, the survivors will endanger themselves for no apparent reason by not using their weapons effectively, picking unwinnable fights, or even just getting stuck on walls. In all honesty, defending the survivors is easily the least fun thing to do in Dead Rising.
GoldenEye 007 – Natalya
GoldenEye is one of the most beloved first-person shooters of all time. The multiplayer deathmatch mode provided fun-filled moments for many that just can’t be forgotten.
The exact opposite can be said for the game’s Natalya escort mission in the single-player campaign. At one point in the story, Natalya uses her programming skills to hack a computer while you have to defend her in a fairly large room.
The problem here is that she takes entirely too long to complete the task while you’re forced to deal with infinitely spawning enemies coming at you from all directions.
And there’s no James Bond movie plot armor here. You’ll likely fail more than a few times.
Metal Gear Solid 2 – Emma
Remember when I said that underwater missions and escort missions are some of the worst things to play through? Well, for some unfathomable reason, Metal Gear Solid 2 combines the two.
You have to escort a girl named Emma Emmerich, who is afraid of bugs and water, through bug-infested areas and underwater passageways. Quite simply, it’s a nightmare to get through.
To top it all off, you’ll have to keep enemies from harming her as well. It truly is one of the worst escort missions in all of gaming.
There are plenty of rough escort missions to choose from, but which ones gave you the most trouble? Be sure to let us know down below!
(Featured image via Fandom)
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