Fall Guys has just celebrated its free-to-play launch on all platforms, bringing the TV game show-style battle royale to millions of players around the world. Combining an assortment of vibrantly colored obstacle courses, cute lil’ bean people, and generally fun and accessible gameplay, you’d think it was all unicorns and rainbows in the world of Fall Guys. But you’re forgetting about the types of players that love nothing more than watching the world burn. Doing absolutely anything in their power to unleash absolute chaos, and generally just raining on your parade. Bean ladies and bean gentleman, I present you with the four types of Fall Guys players that are without a doubt, the most infuriating.
The Relentless See-Saw Tipper
4 Types of Fall Guys Players That Just Love to Watch the World Burn
I’ve spent the past two nights being haunted by these nightmarish players, and have made both the Full Tilt and See-Saw rounds the most infuriating three minutes of my life.
Look, the See-Saw tips. So do the circular variants. Let’s all not get giddy with excitement and start faceplanting the things when they’re fully vertical in a futile and desperate attempt to reach the finish line. It doesn’t help you, and it most certainly doesn’t help me as I’m about to leap to those bastions of safety that are the checkpoints dotted between each segment.
Too many times have I watched literal mobs of people hurling themselves into oblivion, only to respawn next to me and do it all over again.
Am I incredibly bitter about failing to advance past the first round because of these people about 10 times in a row? Absolutely. Do I apologize for this hate-fueled rant? No. No, I do not.
Never has a game so colorful and teeming with childlike delight filled me with such despair. And it’s all your fault relentless See-Saw tippers.
The Finish Line Taunter
4 Types of Fall Guys Players That Just Love to Watch the World Burn
Finish line taunters aren’t here to make your life hell as you make your way through whatever gauntlet of obstacles you’ve navigated with your cat-like reflexes, but they are there to deliver you a hammer blow as you finally reach the finish line.
You’ve finally weaved your way through the swinging hammers that have just successfully hurled you backwards for the 20th time. You’ve flung your way across a gap with the trapeze, and you’ve even… somehow, crossed the dreaded see-saws. The finish line is in sight, and as you get closer, you make out a colorful blob with its dumb, beady eyes staring at you next to it.
You can tell the little f*cker’s smiling… OK, it doesn’t even have a mouth, but underneath that costume, you know it’s just smirking as it begins to step back, filling that final qualification spot as you desperately jump and dive your way to the finish line.
The high-pitched chuckle — it definitely has an irritating high-pitched chuckle, too — echoing through your head as it eliminates you from the game and sends you back to the lobby screen.
Finish line taunters are the ying to the See-Saw tippers’ yang, basking in the chaos of Fall Guys like a British couple in the Benidorm sun.
The Grabber
4 Types of Fall Guys Players That Just Love to Watch the World Burn
You know what’s more frustrating than a Fall Guys round where you just can’t overcome the obstacles standing in your way? Being just about to overcome the obstacle when some buffoon in an Ezio costume grabs you by the ankle as they fall to their demise, dragging you down into the abyss with them.
“Maybe the game will be nice,” you tell yourself. “Maybe the game will put me back on the platform I was mere millimeters away from reaching because I was so close…” you nervously mutter.
Your bean boi (or gal) is dropped back at the very start of the section you naively thought you’d just cleared.
But the grabber knew that.
That was their plan all along.
This is why we can’t have nice things.
Because some cold-hearted psychopath will drag you into the abyss with them the first chance they get.
Sum Fruit Pusher
4 Types of Fall Guys Players That Just Love to Watch the World Burn
Much like their grabbing counterparts in the depths of Fall Guys hell are the Sum Fruit pushers/ blockers. With absolutely no intention of trying to succeed in the Logic-type game mode, their only objective here is to try and block you from actually reaching the platform of safety, or push you off the platforms entirely, into the rising slime before the answer is revealed.
It’s not against the rules of Fall Guys, but then again, nothing is really against the rules of Fall Guys. It doesn’t stop you from being the absolute worst kind of Fall Guys player, though, and deep down, the Sum Fruit pushers know this!
It’s not too late to save yourselves and find the light. We’ll embrace you with open arms if you leave this life of crimes behind you!
Have you encountered any of these Fall Guys players? Which is your most dreaded to encounter? Let us know in the comments below.
About the author
