Listen, Destiny, I know it’s your birthday. Yeah yeah, happy birthday, cake and all that good jazz. But we really gotta talk about a big mistake you’ve made. See, you’ve got this nice little Taken King expansion coming out next week, and it’s got a lotta changes coming with it. But you know what it doesn’t have? The epitome of badass, the poster boy for aging gracefully, the most kickass old man of all time. I speak, of course, of…
Liam. Fucking. Neeson.
Oscar Schindler, Darkman, Liam Neesons as he’s sometimes known. The man is an Academy Award winner, a hard worker, and practically game for anything, as Phantom Menace showed us. And what about Non-Stop?! He’s like a taller Tom Cruise! And he’s contractually obligated to be anywhere the word “Taken’ is, yet he’s nowhere to be seen or heard in Taken King.
You’ve already got a cast filled with geek icons like Nathan Drake, Gina Torres, and Lance Reddick. How did you never think about getting him in this as the bad guy Oryx? It’s right up Neeson’s alley; not only has he played an intimidating killer and had supernatural powers before, but he’s clearly a guy who’ll get revenge on anyone who harms his family. The role of Oryx in Taken King was practically written for Neeson. I mean, c’mon, watch the most recent trailer and tell me it wouldn’t be awesome to have Neeson as the big bad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvf2cAIUtk
Just saying, Bungie, you’ve got a week to put him in.
It would be totally awesome if you were fighting Liam Neeson in Taken King, but he was just regular size and had the abilities of every character he’s played over the years. A Guardian with a flaming Thor hammer or sparkling bow and arrows probably wouldn’t survive a fight with Oscar Schindler with a lightsaber and a bunch of CIA skills. After all…
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