Sam Fisher – Splinter Cell Series
Sam Fisher is a man who is very good at what he does. He’s a special agent for a very special organization and he surely gets paid the big bucks.
However, with all of the betrayals, secrets, lies, murders, and overall terrible situations he ends up in, he should really be thinking about changing careers. Or, actually, just retiring altogether because he is surely past retirement age by now.
From being forced to kill his best friend to taking down the entirety of Third Echelon, staying in his line of work is probably not the best idea. He’s been doing what he does for years now and he has rarely been rewarded for it.
His daughter, Sarah, has even been put in danger a few too many times and we can’t really gloss over the fact that Sam thought she was dead for a time because of those special lies and secrets that are in this particular occupation.
Corvo Attano – Dishonored Series
Previously the Royal Protector of Empress Jessamine Kaldwin and now his daughter Emily, Corvo has gone through quite a lot as Royal Protector.
Being the bodyguard of royalty was already going to be a tough job but with the number of betrayals, schemes, and coups he’s gone through, Corvo should either get a very big raise or just become a farmer or something.
As Royal Protector, he has been betrayed at least twice, had his daughter kidnapped in both betrayals, and he has taken the empire back from evil hands way too many times.
Being Royal Protector is an incredibly difficult full-time job and just like Sam Fisher, he should really think about retiring or finding another occupation that is a lot less trouble.
Leon S. Kennedy – Resident Evil Series
An agent of the DSO, Leon has seen his fair share of weird things. Defending against bioterrorism and world-ending viruses has him encountering a number oddities.
This job occupation is quite literally a health hazard and that liability contract Leon must have signed was probably the length of a book.
Granted, the spread of the T-Virus has narrowed down the number of available jobs for people. Leon was, after all, a police officer for a single day.
From mutants and mad scientists to crazy people who don’t ever want to compromise despite the current dangers to the human race, being a DSO agent is just way too much work.
Maybe, instead, Leon could get into the business of making hand sanitizer for people that kills 99% of the T-Virus.
Lara Croft – Tomb Raider Series
Lara Croft is an archaeologist that moonlights as a tomb raider. Though, one could say she’s a tomb raider that moonlights as an archaeologist at this point.
Going to dig sites, ancient burial locations and tombs sounds exciting and adventurous but most of the time, those places end up with crazy mythological curses, booby traps, even crazier treasure hunters, and quite a number of dangerous artifacts.
Tomb raiding rarely results in a simple tomb raid and Lara Croft must have some great health insurance. She should switch to being a professor or something less tetanus-inducing.
Although, considering that Indiana Jones was a professor and he was doing the same stuff she is. Maybe an archaeology degree is, in itself, cursed.
Geralt of Rivia – The Witcher Series
A Witcher is a person who slays monsters and other dangerous creatures. Geralt, the titular Witcher for his games and books, has gone through quite a lot in his profession.
It is an incredibly dangerous job that rarely results in no injuries. Dealing with people who don’t want to see reason is also a responsibility of the job.
Geralt has defeated a number of monsters and has been in quite a lot of dangerous situations. He deserves a break especially from a job that is way too much work.
Since Witchers can live for quite a while, Geralt can find a new occupation to pass the time like something a lot more relaxed and peaceful like gardening.
The Inquisitor – Dragon Age: Inquisition
Originally having another job before the game, The Inquisitor kind of got handed (heh, hand) this responsibility. Regardless, running a private military, defending against the Fade, and literally fixing the sky is a lot of physical work and a lot of paperwork.
Being the Inquisitor is yet another health hazard on this list. Not only do you have to fight against Fade monsters, mercenaries, bounty hunters, and crazy factions but you also need to be a political and public figure that has to mediate between the nobility, mages and templars, and other social issues.
That is way too much work for one person and the Inquisitor certainly needs to find a job that is a thousand times less stressful.
Samus Aran – Metroid Series
Bounty hunting is already a hazardous and dangerous job but Samus has done a lot more than what being a bounty hunter entails. She has done things that were labeled practically impossible and hopefully, she got a lot of money for all the work she did.
From saving the universe on multiple occasions to exterminating an entire species to handling a galactic crisis, Samus has practically become a galactic problem solver.
Way too much work goes into this particular profession of hers especially on account of dealing with threats that are literally above her pay grade –you’d think there would be a better galactic military.
Samus needs a new career that’s a lot less of doing other people’s jobs and a lot less trouble.
Master Chief – Halo Series
The Chief is a Spartan and he uses his talents as a supersoldier very well. He’s expected to fight against the covenant and other enemies that want to do harm against humans and their allies, something he does quite often.
However, that harm usually entails something on a galaxy or species ending scale.
Master Chief ends up fixing so many problems and issues that he either needs to get promoted or find another job in a different field.
Granted, there are a few perks to his job like traveling all over the galaxy and visiting many different planets but those planets are often infested with enemies that want to kill him. And those enemies tend to be literal parasites or ancient beings bent on taking over the galaxy.
Just like the others on this list, Master Chief absolutely needs a new line of work with something a little less dangerous and lot less work. He could be a club bouncer or something.
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