Best Minecraft Mods of January 2019
Mighty Ender Chicken
As the saying goes, good things come to those who wait — and lo and behold, the best Minecraft mods to open 2019 are here at last.
They’re not just good, in fact, they’re exceptional. They’re superlative. They’re (third flashy adjective to be added later because I got distracted by a pigeon outside my window).
To prove this, the first mod off the rack is a heavy hitter, the likes of which has never been seen before. You may have thought the Ender and Chaos Dragons were cause for fear, but wait until you’ve tangled with their chicken counterparts. Once these avian foes have hatched, you’ll have to use every tool in your arsenal to take them down, and tackling them solo is a fool’s errand.
Warning: you’re probably going to get buck-buck-bucked up.
Best Minecraft Mods of January 2019
Emoticons
Because Fortnite is everywhere these days, and the sooner you accept it, the better off you’ll be. One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble! Gooble gobble!
This mod will give you 38 different emotes. These custom animations will even allow your character to bend (which looks quite bizarre on a Minecraft model), making it perfect for – you guessed it – Fortnite dances. All of the kids will love you and think you’re hip, though they probably wouldn’t use the term hip. You’ll more likely be lit, on fleek, or that tears of joy emoji that gets way too much exposure these days.
…Also, the creator specially requests that this mod be correctly identified as Emoticons, thereby ruining our plans of calling it the Fortnite Dance Mod in an effort to cleverly boost our SEO. Damn you, McHorse, you’ll rue the day.
Best Minecraft Mods of January 2019
MineTraps
If you wake up muddy, and go to bed bloody, then we’ve got just the mod for you.
Using the sinister MineTraps addon, you’ll be able to protect yourself from intruders of every shape and size by surrounding yourself with a bevy of traps. Spikes? Yikes! Nail traps? They’ll never fail traps. Mines? They’re yours.
You can even channel your inner anime villain by constructing a classic pitfall prank. What you fill it with is up to you, whether you want to opt for mud or quicksand, or just straight up murder people with lava. Just make sure you’ve got an airtight alibi, you sick puppy.
Best Minecraft Mods of January 2019
Player Plates
Please note: this mod was not accompanied by a suitable logo, so we had to use creative license on our idea of what a player plate might look like. This particular player plate is very healthy, with a side of green vegetables.
Lacking imagery notwithstanding, this mod will add plates that have various types of functionality. The obsidian plate can withstand TNT, and can only be triggered by players. The mossy cobblestone plate can only be triggered by items and mobs. The SJW plate can only be triggered by inappropriate internet comments.
That last one isn’t a real thing, but shucks, I kinda wish it was. I kid, I kid.
Best Minecraft Mods of January 2019
Puddles
Puddles are lots of fun. Wheeeee!
Unless of course they are literally puddles of wee, in which case they’re best avoided.
In any event, this mod will add puddles to your Minecraft experience. They form, predictably, when it rains, and will eventually disappear once the deluge has stopped. You can use puddles to fill glass bottles, transforming them into the mighty water bottle.
If nothing else, it just looks nice, and sometimes aesthetically pleasing mods are the very best of them all.
Best Minecraft Mods of January 2019
Main Menu Scale
It’s no secret that functionality mods are the dullest to write about. However, we promise to deliver you not just the most amusing Minecraft mods, but the very best. We will reserve the right to occasionally be self-indulgent and include mods that add better oofing.
Main Menu Scale forces the main menu to have a constant gui scale. This is useful when using mods such as custom main menu, as it allows the layout to appear the same on all screens.
Not convinced? Join the literally hundreds of thousands of Minecraft players who downloaded Main Menu Scale and see for yourself. You’ll thank us later. Or more likely, you’ll only comment if you have something mean to say. Don’t worry, we know how this works.
Best Minecraft Mods of January 2019
Framland
There’s little in life quite as good for the soul as heading outside and working on the… fram? I’m sorry, what? Is this an inside joke that I’m not privy to? Just typing it actually fills me with such quivering fury, I retract the opening sentence and instead suggest that working on the fram is terrible for your soul, and even more terrible for your spellchecker, which is simply having fits at this point.
This mod provides you with a block called “Farm Drit” and “Framland” (uuuughhhh), that among other things, emits a beam of light that allows your crops to grow in the dark.
You also receive a Thunder Hoe, but be careful because if the cops find out, you’ll go straight to jail.
Best Minecraft Mods of January 2019
RetroExchange
It may sound like the hippest new store that specializes only in VHS cassettes, but RetroExchange is in actual fact a mod that adds transmutation stones as a mob drop (not to be confused with teenage mutation, which only applies to turtles of the ninja variety).
These powerful stones can be used to transmute items in a myriad of ways, and if pop culture has taught us anything, it’s that alchemy is lots of fun, completely risk-free, and to be trifled with by children at any opportunity. It’s fun for the whole family – especially deceased relatives!
Best Minecraft Mods of January 2019
Living Enchantment
If you’ve ever been enjoying your equipment – like just straight up loving it with all your gosh darn heart – and wishing that it would someday come to life, you clearly need to get out more to download this mod that vivifies your weapons, tools and armor.
Not only will this allow your gear to become stronger over time, increasing its stats in the process, but each piece will even develop its own personality.
Some items are lazy, while others are straight up demonic. Is there a personality for items suffering from the existential crisis of being a sentient sword in a fictional world? If not, you can totally add one yourself.
Best Minecraft Mods of January 2019
Advent of Ascension (Nevermine)
We always love to go out with a bang, and that’s why we usually save a particularly good Minecraft mod for last. We also try to surreptitiously kick someone every time we exit a room, but that doesn’t seem to go down quite as well.
The Advent of Ascension is every RPG enthusiast’s dream come true, absolutely cramming your game with additional content. Beautiful, vivid kingdoms to explore, hundreds of mobs and items, wild armor abilities and lovable minions to aid your quest, it’s quite simply put, one of the most spectacular Minecraft mods we’ve ever come across.
We’ll even resist the temptation to shoehorn a cheap ‘never mind’ pun into the description, that’s how stellar this mod is: it surpasses even the latent desire for stupid jokes, and that’s what keeps me alive inside. So go ahead, you spritely whip, download it now and experience Minecraft in a whole new way.
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