Selling Out (Mass Effect 2)
As the person who saved the Citadel from Sovereign, you’re kind of a big deal. You can use your status as a Reaper-killing Spectre to get some discounts at some shops. But maybe you want to be a nice guy and give them an endorsement, tell people that this store is your favorite store on the Citadel. Great job… except for the fact that you did it to the store two floors above you and the other one around the corner, you dick.
Friends to the End (inFamous 2)
There are some things friendships can’t mend. When you say you’re going to New Marais to grow your powers and fight a giant man made of fire, your pal is gonna come along. But if you throw out that maybe it’s better to help the Beast and kill humans to create more Conduits about 10 minutes before the final showdown, that’s gonna be a tough pill to swallow. In fact, it may end with the two of you facing off on top of a cathedral. You can’t just talk it out, so you do the next best thing: shoot him full of electricity until he dies and create more Conduits anyway. You. Dick.
Rock and Roll (Mass Effect 2: Arrival)
The Reapers are coming, sooner than you or anyone expected. You need any edge you can to delay them just a bit, which brings you to Dr. Amanda Kenson and her Project. Her plan to crash an asteroid into the Alpha Relay is risky, but what other choice do you have? You activate the project and escape in time. The explosion destroys the system, delaying the Reapers…but also killing 300,000 Batarians. You did what you had to do with the time you had, but still…you’re a dick.
Literally All of God of War 3
Where to start with Kraots? Well, let’s see, there was that time he beat Poseidon to near death, gouge his eyes out, and snapped his neck, which led to the oceans flooding the world. Then there was ripping off Helios’ head and causing all those storms, that thing with Hermes and the plague…oh, and who can forget killing Hera, ending all plant life, and using her corpse to weigh down pressure plates? Maybe he should change his title to Dick of Sparta.
White Phosphorus (Spec Ops: The Line)
You’re a soldier. Your job is to follow the orders given to you. There’s no room for questioning or neutrality, you just do as you’re told. When they tell you to use the mortar filled with white phosphorus on the rogue 33rd, you do it, soldier! But it’s never that black and white, is it? Those civilians you killed, the ones the 33rd was protecting? They don’t understand. All they know, as their corpses burn, that you’re a monster. You’ve ruined their lives.
This is all your fault.
Space, Man (Killzone 3)
The war between the Vektans and the Helghast isn’t exactly clear cut. Sure, the Helghast invaded your home planet, but to be fair, your friend did shoot their leader. And yeah, the Helghast did develop a super weapon that could wipe out all Vektans, but you and yours friends took things too far and destroyed a cruiser in space containing those weapons that consumed the whole planet. You literally wiped out life on an entire planet, man. That’s a new level of dick.
The Angel Among Us (Borderlands 2)
Yeah, you’re the hero in Borderlands 2, especially when compared to an asshole like Handsome Jack. One recurring thing about Jack is that he refers to himself as the hero of the story when talking to you and the regular people of Pandora. In his eyes, he’s doing everyone a favor by sending various Hyperion robots to kill you. But there’s one specific moment where your actions could actually be classified as evil, and it’s all because of Handsome Jack’s daughter, Angel.
Previously thought to be an AI, she reveals herself to be one of the very rare Sirens left in the galaxy. She holds a Vault Key necessary to stopping the Warrior, which you can only get by destroying the Eridium injectors holding her. Jack doesn’t make this easy for you, and each time you destroy an injector, he begs and pleads for you to stop killing his daughter. Angel dies, and Jack is pissed. He puts a bounty on your head and will kill anyone who brings you to him alive. Don’t get it wrong, you’re saving the world from a monster, but what you do to succeed is as close to bad as you’ll get.
The Help (Tomb Raider II)
Lara Croft doesn’t exactly gel with people to begin with, but even this is a bit much. Your faithful butler, Winston Smith, follows you around Croft Manor on the off chance that you need something from him. Maybe he’s a really loyal servant, maybe he’s just a pervert. But locking him in the freezer? That’s not just a dick move, that’s overkill. That’d be like an Arkham game where you tie Alfred to the back of the Batmobile, you goddamn monster.
The Sims
The Sims is the perfect simulation of the monotony of every day life. Wake up, eat, sleep, pretend to work, etc. It’s also the perfect way to test if your spouse will be a good potential parent and figure out if you or your friend is a sociopath. The test is simple: if they create a Sim and set it on fire or lock in a room with no doors or air, they’re more than likely a psychotic dick that shouldn’t be allowed near anybody again. Seriously dude, that’s the video game equivalent of killing small animals or lighting dolls on fire.
Whacking Off (Saints Row 4)
No seriously, hitting someone with the Penetrator is an alarmingly turgid dick move.
Blue Shell (Mario Kart)
How to best describe being Blue Shelled…imagine going on a nice dinner with a friend. You’re having a good time, chat up some hot people, get their numbers, drinks are had. And then at the last moment, just as you two are heading home, your friend takes the number the hottie gave you and goes on a date with them both. That’s what the Blue Shell is; going out with a friend for a good time and they completely jack your game at the last minute with no warning. That, reader, is the definition of a “dick move”.
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