Drifloon
By now, us Pokemon trainers are aware that Pokemon come in all kinds of different shapes and sizes. Unfortunately, not all of them look cool. In fact, some of them look downright dumb and are unlikely to be winning any contests for the best-designed in the wild. Journey with us as we take a look at seven of the most baffling and dumbest Pokemon to have been created.
There’s something incredibly unsettling about this balloon, and it’s not the fact it’s somehow managed to get a cloud to constantly sit on its head. No, I’m talking about its lifeless eyes screaming out for help. Quite possibly because whoever designed poor Drifloon decided to keep it quiet for eternity by patching up its mouth with a giant yellow X.
But, really now, who wants to try and command a cloud donning balloon in a battle against something like a Charizard? That adorable hair cut (cloud cut?) and patchwork ain’t gonna save it from melting after a quick Flamethrower attack.
Chandelure
When you turn to lighting fixtures for your Pokemon inspiration, you know you’re beginning to scrap the bottom of the barrel. But of course, why wouldn’t you have a stereotypical horror trope as a Ghost Pokemon when you’re over 600 Pokemon down? Oh, and its name is quite possibly the only thing less imaginative than its design.
While it’ll no doubt forever be Sia’s favorite Pokemon, Chandelure, unfortunately makes it onto our list as one of the dumbest Pokemon to grace the series.
Swirlix
No, Game Freak, you’ve got it all wrong. You’re supposed to eat cotton candy, not train it and battle monsters with it. When the first few generations of Pokemon were released, at least they were based on animals, objects, or mythical creatures that made some tangible sense as battle companions. When you reach the Swirlix era, however, apparently anything goes.
Plus, there’s something incredibly unsettling about a ball of cotton candy having a tail. Combine that with the hungry expression on its face and you’ve got some of the most disturbing and weirdest cotton candy we’ve ever seen.
Klink
Ah yes. As the Pokemon roster begins to fill with more and more inanimate objects, it only makes sense to design a Pokemon based on… cogs? Apparently so, and what’s worse, they only give the duo a pair of eyes between them. At least they can spin for eternity knowing they’re powering some larger enti-… oh wait, it’s just them.
If anything, we feel sorry for Klink. It wasn’t even given a chance at stardom in the Pokemon world. Its vacant expression the face of a ‘mon hoping things will be better when it evolves. Spoilers: Its evolutions’ names – Klang and Klinklang – tell you everything you need to know. Sorry Klink, it definitely doesn’t get better.
Vanilluxe
Swirlix the cotton candy apparently wasn’t enough for food-based Pokemon, so here we have Vanilluxe – the evolution to the single ice cream cone Pokemon, Vanillish. Let’s start with the elephant in the room here. Much like cotton candy, we don’t advise that you send an ice cream cone out to fight your battles. It’s only going to end up as a melted mess on the floor. Second, why does the scoop on the left look so… unstable, and is the one on the right smoking a pipe out of its head?
Plus, you should never want to eat your Pokemon.
Garbodor
Oh, come on now. Garbodor, the trash Pokemon, otherwise known as an indistinguishable brown blob with creepy arms and red and green lumps protruding from its squidgy, rotting body. If you took trash around with you wherever you went, people would look at you funny. Unfortunately for Garbodor, the principle remains the same when it comes to Pokemon, too.
Nobody wants a trash-based Pokemon, but when it has literally the dumbest expression on its face, it reaches a whole new level of undesirable. A hot mess of a Pokemon if we ever saw one.
Klefki
Aaaand rounding out our pick of dumb Pokemon is… a keychain. Now, not only is a keychain quite possibly the most boring thing you could turn into a pocket monster, but I have a ton of questions regarding exactly what the hell is going on here. Is that its face in the middle? Does one of those keys fit in its own face? And most importantly, did Game Freak really need one more ‘mon for Generation VI that Klefki had to be unleashed upon the world?
While the answers to the first two questions will forever remain a mystery, the answer to the third is most definitely not.
Pineco
I’ve been pretty harsh on the ‘mon up until this point, but Pineco is one that really pushes it. Essentially a crudely drawn pinecone with some evil-ass eyes peering out, both its design and name yearned for a dash of extra creativity during the creation process.
It says a lot that I can’t think of anything else to say about Pineco. Dull, uninspired, and dumb.
Tangela
What even is Tangela? It’s a question that’s been asked for quite some time, and the official answer of a tangle of vines around something (or maybe even someone) underneath just isn’t enough.
You see, dumb Pokemon have been around from the very start, and all of the other ‘mon on this list are all Tangela’s fault. Why? Because if you can draw a tangled mess, give it shoes and eyes and pass it off as a Pokemon, there are no limits to how dumb Pokemon can get.
Luvdisc
Draw a heart on its side. Congratulations, you just drew a Pokemon. I needn’t say any more.
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