Lin-Manuel Miranda
Let’s face it, if there’s any other musician would who drop everything for the chance to be in Final Fantasy besides Ariana Grande, it’s likely Miranda. (Ideally, it’d be him and Daveed Diggs, but we can’t send this into complete awesome overload.) The Hamilton creator may have his hands full with other projects, but one can imagine that it wouldn’t stop his pure entertainment power. Like, at all.
Who would he be in the story? As much as we’d like for him to be the main playable character, it’s likely that he’d be more of a party member instead. While he would definitely kill it as the comic relief, he’d probably be something akin to Ignis in Final Fantasy XV: dry humor, intelligent, and incredibly talented in one specific area that ensures the rest of the party doesn’t die. Maybe he even has his own original song in the soundtrack as well, just to add to the greatness.
Beyoncé
Do we really need to explain why Beyoncé should be in a Final Fantasy game? It’s freaking Beyoncé, and even though the odds are incredibly slim that she’d sign on for that, it’s nice to dream.
Who would she be in the story? In every story, there’s that one character that appears out of nowhere at any point and gives cryptic (but vital) information. At first, you think they’re some weirdo, but then it turns out they’re centuries old and need your help defeating the big evil. Then when it’s time to face the final boss, she helps you wreck shit and you’re glad you didn’t ignore her. And then she gives you the ultimate death dealing weapon for you to use against upgraded enemies in New Game+.
Girls’ Generation
Final Fantasy XV’s release saw no shortage of jokes calling Noctis and his troupe a boy band. Why not just lean into that completely with the next group of characters, while also doing a gender reversal? Previous FF games have had larger casts to work with in terms of party size, so eight women shouldn’t be an issue for them at all.
Who should they be in the story? Well obviously, they should just straight up be the protagonists, and even if they aren’t all together at the start of the game, they should come together organically. Using actual pop stars allow the series to just lean into the goofiness that’s been around in other titles like X and X-2. Make summons based on their best songs, group combos — all of that fun stuff. It’d be silly as all hell, but this series is used to that by now.
Kanye West
2016 was… quite a year for many musicians, but no more so than him, to put it lightly. But for as popular as it’s become to rag on and criticize West’s personality and mannerisms, there’s no denying that he has artistic talent behind him. He’s weirdly invested in video games–don’t forget he tried his hand at one–and his music video for Power shows that he’d nail the visual aesthetic of Final Fantasy, if nothing else.
Who should he be in the story? Easy as it would be to just call West the villain because he thinks he’s a god, we’ve got something different in mind. There’s something weirdly intriguing about him at times, and while he would probably demand to be boosted to main character, it’d be best for him to be one of your companions you find early on in the game. Think Gladio, but with fewer tattoos.
Childish Gambino
Donald Glover is one of the brightest and freshest minds working today across any medium, both as a musician and actor, and it only stands to reason that he’ll eventually make his way over to video games as well. Tempting as it is to just slot him into his role as Lando Calrissian and throw him into a Star Wars game, it’d be nice to resist the urge and instead put him into a Final Fantasy title.
Who should he be in the story? It’d be nothing short of criminal if we didn’t suggest that Glover be a main character. Thanks to Atlanta, his music, and pretty soon Star Wars, he’s earned it, and would feel natural instead of just stunt casting. The man can clearly take on a leading role, and it’s guaranteed that he’ll have chemistry with any other characters Square Enix puts alongside him. Of course, if this hypothetical Final Fantasy game just ended up being Atlanta as an action-RPG in disguise, that would be great as well.
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